If you live here, this beautiful state is affectionately known as Jersey. If you don’t, then please call her by her proper name, New Jersey. (Jersey people feel an insane amount of pride for their home state, and that’s just something you don’t mess with.) When it comes to the state as a whole, it’s very much divided in half. There’s an unspoken rivalry between North Jersey and South Jersey. How you act and what you say are dead giveaways for which side of the state you’re from. (Sure, there’s

Hurricanes, snowstorms, tornadoes, severe thunderstorms…they all have one thing in common: power outages. The potential of not having any electricity is its very own shitstorm. There’s all this mental and actual prep involved. The unknown is paired with an insane penetration of doom from your local TV meteorologist. You tend to lose your mind. As you endure the experience of losing power while trying to take care of yourself, your partner, and at least one mini human, at least a thousand thought

1. You sit down in a client meeting and realize there's mashed banana in your hair. To make it even better, the banana was from the day before. 2. You (finally) get privacy during the times you pump. Beats being in multitasking-mom mode at home. Yes, I simultaneously pump and sing and dance in front of my kid to keep him entertained — so what? 3. You have a hard time keeping your nipples under control. Make sure to invest in a full-length mirror to avoid walking out of your office with cockeye

1. They're both big on eminent domain. What, did you really think your house belongs to you? 2. They don't really understand what manners are or how to put them to good use. If your baby or Donald Trump wants something, it's his. And if you don't comply, it's going to get messy. 3. Most days, you really don't know what's going on with their hair. Between bald spots and combovers, there's a million dollar hair product business somewhere in there. 4. They have "yuuuuge" problems pronouncing som